Not much can stop the imagination of a little boy, particularly when his older
brother is as adept at scaring the lights out of his bro as my brother was. I remember one particularly ‘effective’ moment when my brother contributed to my now balding scalp by
scaring the day lights out of me.
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JAWS; Can you hear the music? Dun, dun, … dun, dun … dun, dun … It’s funny
to watch the movie Jaws today as the
shark is pretty fake looking, but many years ago it was a terrifying movie that
left the world afraid to enter the water.
And the music composed by John Williams is just brilliant! In my previous business I spent a lot of time
on the Universal Studios backlot, and remember driving by the Jaws ‘pond’ late
at night and having a chuckle over the story I am about to tell you.
The story is absolutely real, and no, the names have NOT
been changed … there were no innocent people in this story. I was 9 years old and my family was visiting relatives
at Martha’s Vineyard off the coast of Massachusetts.
Martha’s Vineyard is a sleepy touristy / fishing / beach island. Ironically (for me) … the movie Jaws was
filmed there a few years before our visit.
It was a sleepy afternoon and my brother had the brilliant
idea that we watch the movie Jaws on
TV. I remember asking him what Jaws was
about and he said it was about “An overprotective clownfish that must leave the
safety of his reef and brave the open ocean to rescue his missing son, who is
captive in a dentist’s aquarium” … ok, ok … I realize in 1979 the movie, Finding Nemo had not existed but trust
me, my brother did his best work at painting a fun loving friendly fish ‘romp’
in the ocean. I envisioned a fantastic
story, not unlike Flipper and was gung ho on spending the afternoon watching it
with him.
It didn’t take long before I realized that my brother had
upped the ante and quite honestly, he should be proud of his accomplishment
with this one. If there was an Academy
Award presented to the “best scare by a big brother”, he definitely would have
won that year.
I remember as the credits were rolling, he dropped the bomb
… “Hey Randy, did you know that Jaws was filmed right here in Martha’s
Vineyard?” He always had a way of carefully
waiting for just the right moment to ‘educate’ me with his incredible
knowledge, and it was ALWAYS appreciated (I hope you are detecting my use of
sarcasm here!!).
It was decided by unanimous decision that Randall would not
be going in the ocean again on this trip or ever for that matter. In fact, I had no intention to get in a bathtub
ever again after today. I'm not sure how
a shark could ‘get me’ in a bathtub, but again, I remind you … the imagination
of a 9 year old is a very powerful thing ~ besides .. Jaws was no ordinary
shark!!
You can imagine how I felt later that same day over dinner
when my dad announced the ‘fantastic’ news that we (my dad, my brother and
myself) were going “on a little adventure tomorrow. We are going to rent a catamaran and go out
in the ocean on it.“
To this day I still wonder if my brother had advance
knowledge of our plans the next day, he claims it was all coincidence and if it
was … man, he must’ve had the time of his life that evening, but I wonder …
I sat up late that night trying to come up with any excuse
to avoid the impending death by shark bite that I was to experience
tomorrow. I mean honestly, death by
shark bite … could there be a worse way to go???
I'm fairly certain that day I went through all five stages
of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance. I remember getting in trouble ‘dragging my
feet’ while getting ready. I was
grasping at straws thinking maybe if I got in trouble they would leave me back
at the house “grounded”, while they went to their most certain death.
As we walked up to the rental place, I remember trying
desperately one last time to talk my dad out of it … “it looks crowded, maybe
we should come back tomorrow”, “I think its’ too windy”, “boy this is expensive,
Dad … we don’t have to do this”, “I don’t know if there’s room enough for all
three of us, I’ll wait on the dock”, but ultimately my fate was sealed and we
departed on our 3-hour tour …
I learned after we had departed from the dock as my dad was
struggling with the sails that he had never actually piloted a sailboat, let
alone a catamaran. As we drifted out to
sea, this certainly was setting up for a Perfect Storm. Eventually he got the hang of it and we
started moving with great speed through the water. I will say that if I hadn’t had the pleasure
of watching Steven Spielberg’s epic shark movie the day before, I probably
would have been digging the moment but given the circumstance, I was terrified.
I remember constantly looking back, expecting to see a shark
fin raise out of the water behind us, and every bump of the water on the canvas
of the Catamaran … I thought for sure was a shark reaching with his jaws to
devour me.
Ironically I finally started to calm down, convincing myself
that as long as I didn’t hear the music, the shark would never come J … I know it sounds
crazy, but again … as I said earlier, the imagination of a little boy can be
very compelling.
As I sat and waited for the music to start, the catamaran
started tipping up, up, up … and unfortunately I didn’t know that this was
supposed to happen and started to feel very panicky. Unfortunately, the boat continued to tip and
ultimately completely tipped over. I
remember the moment so vividly as I slipped across the canvas bottom into the
depths of the ocean. Coming up for air,
I looked for the boat as saw it about 50 yards away moving very quickly in the
opposite direction. Even tipped on its’
side, the wind and current was still pushing it along the water at a fast
clip. My brother had fallen into the
water as well and my dad was hurriedly trying to flip the capsized boat right
side up.
I was terrified! If
the shark hadn’t gotten me while above water, I was now easy prey for his
awaiting jaws. I knew that my minutes
were numbered …
I remember seeing my dad look at me, seeing the panic in his
eyes, trying to control a situation that was out of control. Now as a father, I can only imagine the horror
he must have been feeling. Being in the
ocean, watching his youngest son drifting further and further away, his oldest
son drifting in an opposite direction and a boat that was sinking.
Initially I was desperately trying to get back to the boat
but I quickly realized that it was a futile effort. The current was just too strong and I needed
to take a different approach. As I saw
my father get further and further away, I learned a valuable lesson that
day.
My dad, my rock … was not able to get to me. The man that I always relied on for safety
couldn’t reach me, I had to step up and take care of myself in that moment. In hindsight, I'm actually quite impressed at
how that little 9 year old boy took charge of the situation and ‘manned up’ to
keep himself safe.
Ultimately my father ditched the boat … dove in the water
and started swimming toward me. He got
to my brother and called out to me to swim toward a deserted island that was
reasonably close, which I did. We swam
and swam and swam for what seemed like hours and eventually made it to the
island and were reunited. The catamaran
was gone but we were alive and amazingly Jaws, who was apparently asleep at the
wheel missed his prime opportunity to have some tender morsels for lunch.
Having my father so close, but at the same time completely
out of reach created an eerie moment, the irony of his close proximity yet he
might as well had been over a thousand miles away showed me how ultimately it
is you and only you that can protect yourself.
Relying on others, even if in this case it was my superhero dad, proved
to be a futile effort, and I learned at that moment that ONLY YOU CAN PROTECT
YOURSELF.
This lesson has carried forward through my years where I
know ultimately at the end of the day that I am not only in charge of my
destiny but that I am the only one that can keep myself out of a real mess in
life. In investing, no one will ever
feel the pain of your financial loss as much as you will. An advisor that doesn’t protect you properly
and steers your investments incorrectly and ultimately causes a loss in your
portfolio simply wont be affected by the loss as you will. I’m sure they wont like the situation, but
I'm also certain they will sleep fine that night even though they did not
protect you from a 30 – 60% loss in portfolio.
In fact, statements like “Past performance does not
guarantee future performance” are boiler plate comments that your advisor will
tell you or have in the agreement that you sign to try and help soften the blow
when and if the above happens.
Ultimately he may have the best intentions, but it is YOU
that needs to make certain that all is kosher in his suggested investment
mix. If you are going to feel the pain
when things go wrong, then you need to verify the decisions he is making on
your behalf are prudent. No longer can
we assume that this person has your best interest at stake. You need to “Trust, but Verify”, because
ultimately when things go terribly wrong it is you that will be alone, all by
yourself, treading water deep in the ocean with nothing but a life preserver to
keep you alive.
Surrounding yourself with financial advisors and experts in
all forms of your professional life makes sense but taking a few precautionary
measures along the way, verifying, confirming for yourself that this person is
putting you in the proper environments is necessary.
Would love you to share your own 'scary' stories below ... that taught you a similar lesson ...
